Fame and Fortune

Photo by Linas Drulia on Unsplash

My name is Womb. I am a wombat from Australia because that’s where we come from. I want to be rich and famous. Karma gives me another chance to be famous. And become the proud owner of two shiny pieces of precious metal.

This second chance was given to me by a lady named Roz Warren. Nice lady. She is a Medium writer. No, no, that does not mean her writing is just so-so.

In my previous life, I was just another marsupial (big word — I am smart). I had a lot of fun because we are different. The girls have two vaginas and the boys have a double penis. So life was fun. And tiring.

But now I know how to become rich and famous.

Kiss behinds.

So today I am kissing the behind of a famous lady.

Natalie Portman

All of my information is from the internet because we wombats are well known for our laziness.

Neta-Lee Herschlag, or Netty as I like to call Natalie, is a big defender of animals. She even designed footwear with no fur, leather, or feathers. She uses tiny kitchen sinks strapped to the ankles with frilly carrot tops. She is smart.

Netty is politically sharp-witted and proved this in 2008 when she said “I even like John McCain. I disagree with his war stance — which is a really big deal …” Smart cookie.

She made a mistake in 2009 by liking Mr. Polanski, the man who did bad things to a little girl. But she changed her mind in 2018. Smart cookie.

Netty is married to a dancer named Benjamin Millepied. Millepied means a thousand feet in French so that comes in handy when he has to fast dance. Smart cookie.

She says she feels more Jewish in Israel but lives in Los Angeles. I do not know why. Maybe it is easier to ride her unicycle. Less sand. Smart cookie.

So this is all I have to say about Netty. She is a famous lady and knows a lot about reading.

I hope she will read this and give me two shiny pieces of precious metal.

And fame.

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